Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to fit into a mold I was never created for. One forced upon me by the world and my own sense of expectations. I've had this restless stirring to break free from this mold...to find a new one...the one He wrote my name on.
I think often times I feel unsettled in my life because I'm being squeezed into a mold I was never meant to inhabit. God made me different...I'm uniquely formed and intricately designed. I was not made from the stuff of this world...I was intentionally knit together in the deep places of my Father. My place of home is within the confines He so graciously created me for. Within His fold.
I want to be shaped by my Crafter. Formed carefully into the fullest expression of Him that I was made to be. Every dimple and crevice is a reflection of the places I have poured myself into Him and allowed His goodness to rub me new. It's not always easy...this pouring out and being molded. It's stretching and sometimes I'm uncertain of the final result.
I look at my children and marvel at how unique they are. Proof that their formation into something special was not my doing. They are the handiwork of a much larger conception. I would never want them to be anything other then what they are...I cherish that they are nothing like each other.
I wonder if God is saddened when He looks at all His children trying so hard to look alike. We put aside the "quirks" that makes us US and we squeeze ourselves into the molds of "comparison" and "perfectionism." All the while, we feel like misfits. Wandering through life feeling restricted and not knowing why. Maybe God wants to graciously shatter those molds that suffocate us and release us into who we were really made to be. We pour ourselves into His mold. He doesn't pour Himself into ours.
I'm asking God to make more clear to me who He has made ME to be. Not what others think I should be or who the world tells me to be. I'm a delicately designed and intricate piece of work. There is no other like me. The enemy would want me to waste my time trying to be someone I am not. To constantly feel dissatisfied and inadequate. To seek out the giftings of others instead of cultivating the ones that are mine. To forget my function in this Body He has crafted for His glory.
It's time to break the mold.
"Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous- how well I know it."
Psalm 139:14 (NLT)