Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Inching along...

We are inching our adoption process. 
Sometimes it feels so far away.
And some days I'm okay with be honest.
I've got three little ones right here, right now, that need me.
I've got a husband who needs me.
My plate feels full.

Right now I fill out paper work and get fingerprinted
and log countless hours of online training.

My heart wonders. My heart dreams.

But, there are no little ones in a picture by my bed yet.
There are no letters to write to them, no room to prepare for them.

My grace right now is for what is before me.
When it's time to open my heart to these little ones in Africa,
when I see their faces for the first time, hear their names,
my grace will expand. 

My capacity will expand. 
I know this with absolute certainty.

It will begin to take root.

Today at our home study appointment the case worker asked me
what I have learned from the training about adoption.
I told her and then I talked about what I'm learning from others.

Others who have gone before me, paved the way, in my life.
And what I've learned in parenting my biological kids.

I've learned that His grace is enough.
That my portion is pleasant.
That He gives wisdom when we seek Him.

That just when I think I can't take on any more...
God calls me to step out in faith.
And my grace "pasture" expands.

"The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; 
surely I have a delightful inheritance"
Psalm 16:6

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